


Rouge One

by FireflysLove



Series: Tilted [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cassian wears a dress but not quite, F/M, May The Fourth Be With You, POV Cassian Andor, Star Wars Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireflysLove/pseuds/FireflysLove
Summary: “This plan has an 85.7% chance of failing” K2 observes from the cockpit.Jyn shoots him a dirty look. “You couldn’t get him a reprogram with that new body?” she mutters under her breath, so only Cassian can hear.“It didn’t seem right,” Cassian says. He knows Jyn is only joking… mostly. Besides, K2 is probably right, this asinine plan of Jyn’s is likely to get them all killed… again.Or: A typo leads to an AU with Cassian in makeup because I CAN.





	Rouge One

**Author's Note:**

> Came out of nowhere to do nothing and here we are 2300 words later.
> 
> Title is a purposeful typo.

_ ~1.5 years ABY _

“This plan has an 85.7% chance of failing” K2 observes from the cockpit.

Jyn shoots him a dirty look. “You couldn’t get him a reprogram with that new body?” she mutters under her breath, so only Cassian can hear. 

“It didn’t seem right,” Cassian says. He knows Jyn is only joking… mostly. Besides, K2 is probably right, this asinine plan of Jyn’s is likely to get them all killed… again.

Although being in the nice heated interior of a ship is preferable to the constant, permeating cold of Hoth, he’d prefer to be wearing more clothes right now  _ thank you very much. _ Jyn’s decided that it would be best if she played the officer tonight. And this has led to him not being her respectable husband but somehow her courtesan. 

When he’d tried to get her to do it the other way around, she’d given him an even dirtier look than the one she’s just given K2. 

“Trust me, these aren’t your average Imperial officers,” Jyn says. Rogue One had been selected for this mission because Jyn has something of a history with the targets. “No offense, Cassian, but if this all goes to plan, you will be the least remarkable thing about the party this evening.” 

Cassian’s not sure if this is a compliment or not. However, he feels rather conspicuous in the outfit Jyn insisted he wear. It’s not  _ quite _ a dress, but it’s damn well close to it. There has to be a hundred yards of fabric in the thing, all of them whisper thin. It’s every shade of green from the palest hue of leaves to the deepest of emeralds. He’s pretty sure Leia Organa had a hand in it. (He’s not wrong).

Jyn’s dressed in an Imperial officer’s uniform, but nothing quite like the ones he’s used to seeing. This one was obviously cut for a human female’s form, and it does the job quite… well. He has quite the chance to admire it, considering she’s standing between his knees, tongue sticking out as she applies… something to his face. He hadn’t been surprised to learn that he was going to be wearing cosmetics, but he’d also been under the impression  _ he _ would be the one applying it.

Jyn (and strangely, Chirrut,) had burst into hysterical laughter about that. So that’s how he’s come to be not-so-uncomfortably close to Jyn. They’re not strangers to being close, turns out near-death experiences bring tend to form very close bonds between people. None of them really remember how they made it off Scarif, but they did, all of them, and a droid claiming to be K-2SO to boot. 

Jyn had made him shave his beard for this, something he had done with no shortage of grumbling. 

“If it makes you feel any better,” she had said, “I’m rather fond of it.” (It had made him feel a little better)

When she had started outlining his eyes in thick kohl, he knew he was in far deeper than he’d expected, and then she’d pulled out the lipstick. It was shockingly red, and Jyn assured him that no matter how much food he ate or how many people he kissed, it wouldn’t be coming off anytime soon. She dusts something red across his cheeks, and then puts her finger under his chin. Tilting his head back and forth, she raises a critical eyebrow. “You’ll do,” she says, stepping away to put the cosmetics back in their bag. 

Bodhi turns around from the cockpit to look at him, and Cassian can see him struggling not to laugh. 

“You look like a proper man of the night,” Bodhi says. 

“Well, I think it looks good,” Chirrut says.

“Thanks,” Cassian says. 

They land soon after. Their destination is a cushy tropical moon orbiting a Mid-Rim planet. As soon as they land, Chirrut and Baze hide themselves in the storage spaces, and K2 does his best Imperial Droid impersonation. The gangplank lowered, Cassian sees Jyn smooth one hand over her severe hairdo before taking a deep breath, and offering him a smile and her arm.

He returns the smile and takes the proffered limb, not unconscious of the several times this situation has been reversed. Rogue One has garnered quite the reputation among the Alliance for these kind of infiltration missions. Several very important pieces of intel have resulted from them. Most of this with significantly less explosions and blasters than Scarif had involved, much to all of their reliefs. 

Jyn has a blaster on her belt, but she surrenders it at the entrance, this is an official Imperial event and no weapons are allowed. 

They don’t search Cassian or the tall, menacing droid behind Jyn, however. 

The shuttle’s engines whirr as it lifts off to go to the parking area, and Cassian feels the familiar sensation of adrenaline settling into his veins. Jyn tightens her grip on him, and he squeezes back. 

The room is full of women dressed similarly to Jyn and men (and no few women) dressed in a dizzying array of colors, and Cassian realizes Jyn was right, his own outfit is unremarkable, a middle ground amongst the outfits on the non-officers in the room. The gamut runs to some women wearing little more than strings of beads and artfully draped scarves to men in full suits that cover even more than the Imperial uniforms do. 

Jyn immediately strikes up a conversation with one of the other women officers. It’s pleasantries and nonsense, talking about weather on planets neither of them have probably ever been to. The other woman mentions something about “those damn Rebels”, and Jyn laughs at her comment. That’s what she’s here to do, after all, distract the officers while Cassian and K2 get as much information as they can. It was difficult to secure an invitation to this event, and he wants to take as much advantage of it as possible.

Cassian’s attention is brought back to Jyn by a hand on his shoulder. “Go see what they have at the drink table, Lance,” she says. It’s an excuse for him to get away and look for anything valuable. 

He smiles, nods, and slips away. He finds K2 quickly, they had arranged to meet at the very drink table Jyn had just spoken of. 

“Anything?” Cassian asks under his breath.

K2 makes a hand gesture that means  _ no _ . Cassian sighs. He hasn’t heard anything interesting either. 

He’s contemplating the drink table when he sees a woman wearing far more badges than he’s used to seeing on an Imperial officer slip behind a door that just a moment before he had thought was a wall panel. 

It turns out you can take a very long time to make a drink if you try hard enough. 

As soon as the woman comes back out of the wall, Cassian makes a beeline for it, K2 right behind him.

“You hear anything behind that wall?” he asks. K2 pauses, then shakes his head. “Good. Stay here, and bang on the wall if someone starts to come toward us.”

Cassian looks for a handle, and finds one in the knots of the wood. Pushing it gently, the wall panel pops away, and he opens it just enough for him to slip through. 

He goes into a dark room, and skitters his hand along the wall looking for a panel to light the room. Before he finds one, a screen across the room lights up, and he sees a camera feed into the ballroom. It’s not focused on anyone in particular, jumping from face to face. There’s a line of text scrolling at the bottom, but Cassian’s too far away to read what it says. 

He quickly crosses the room, and another screen lights up, this one with vertically scrolling text. It takes a moment for Cassian to decipher what he’s reading, but then he realizes that they’re names. Lots and lots of names. Names of everyone here. And not only that, but on the second screen is the life history of everyone here. He pulls a drive out of one of the hidden pockets of his costume and shoves it in the port, downloading as much as possible. Not the most useful information he’s ever seen, but surely valuable to someone. 

And then a third screen lights up. This isn’t names or backgrounds, this is… tactical plans? Cassian doesn’t spare the time to figure it out, shoving a second drive into the port of this screen. 

He’s just about to pull the first drive out when K2 bangs on the wall. Cassian jumps, stomach twisting. There’s no good explanation for him being there. Then, the wall panel opens, spilling light inside, and a female form enters. Cassian’s not sure who it is, backlit as she is, but he reaches for the blaster on the inside of his thigh. 

“It’s me,” Jyn hisses. “They were getting suspicious, and I told them ‘drink table’ was actually a code to go find somewhere we could… you know.”

Cassian raises his eyebrows. “And they bought it?”

“I don’t think so,” Jyn says. “We’re going to have to go back out soon and convince them of it.”

“And just how do you intend to do that?” Cassian asks, half afraid she’ll say they actually need to have sex on the desk in front of the screens.

“Kiss, mess up your hair, maybe tear your … dress,” Jyn says. 

Under almost any other circumstance, Cassian would be up for it. Battlefield sexual encounters aren’t exactly foreign to him. The adrenaline always gives it that extra zing. But not at a formal party with hundreds of Imperial officers just on the other side of a thin wall. 

“Make it quick,” Cassian sighs.

“You sure know how to charm a lady,” Jyn says. She grabs him by the hair and pulls him down.

Suddenly he’s not  _ quite _ as averse to the idea, kissing Jyn  _ is _ one of his favorite recreational activities, after all. The hand holding the drive shoves it back into his pocket so he can grab her shoulder. 

“Don’t mess up the hair,” she mutters under her breath. 

Cassian hears the second drive beep and rotates them so that he can reach it. It’s a good thing he does, because not half a minute later, K2 bangs on the wall again, and the door pops open. This time, the lights in the room come up, harsh against eyes grown used to the darkness.

Two women, one of whom was the first person Cassian saw come in this room, stand there, arms crossed.

“I told you, Ima, they really did come here to find a private spot, and left the droid as a guard,” the other woman says.

Ima sighs. “Get out, you two. If you really need a private room, the serving droids will be happy to show you where they are. Otherwise I’d suggest you go back to your ship. The Empire isn’t fond of this sort of display at functions, as you should know.”

Jyn nods meekly, and drags Cassian by the hand out of the room. All eyes in the ballroom turn on them, and Cassian thinks he’s as red as Jyn as they hurry across it to the entrance. K2 follows silently. 

They approach the landing pad and call for their shuttle just as the lights all shut off. 

“So that’s why Baze wanted to come along,” Jyn says. “How much you want to bet he’s been studying Imperial power grid plans just to take that out?”

“Eh,” Cassian says, “not a fair bet.”

Jyn turns to look at him, and then bursts into laughter. “Oh dear,” she says. “You should see yourself. I was wrong about the lipstick.”

The shuttle arrives then, and they get on. The power is just coming back on, and Cassian hears shouts from inside. “The feeds, the data, it’s all gone!” Oops. He’d meant to make a copy, not download everything.

“What the hell happened to the power? Kayala, find out, or heads will roll!” Ima’s voice shouts.

“Turns out, cutting certain wires deletes everything on their servers,” Baze says to no one in particular, twirling a pair of wire cutters in his hand. Jyn’s still laughing from whatever is wrong with Cassian’s face, and this only makes her laugh harder. 

Cassian pulls the drives from his pocket, “It’s too bad no one made backups.”

Jyn is nearly crying with laughter. It’s a nice change to see her so mirthful for once, Cassian thinks. 

After Jedha and Eadu and Scarif, it had taken them nearly a year to come to the conclusion that Jyn was in the Rebellion for good now, and if Cassian would have her, she’d like to take him up on his “Welcome Home” offer.

* * *

 

As soon as they’re in space, Cassian rises and goes to the shuttle’s small ‘fresher. He stops dead, looking at himself in the mirror. The kohl around his eyes is just about the only thing on his face that isn’t smudged. 

He takes a cloth and wipes off the lipstick. It’s a garish color, and he’s not sure it suits him. The eyeliner on the other hand. This… he could work with. He leaves it on. 

Jyn doesn’t notice until they’re back on Hoth, back in the eternal freezer, huddling with Tauntauns for warmth and wearing too many winter coats. Cassian is fond of his coat, but he would also like to not be wearing it all the time. 

It’s a quick jump out of the coat and boots into bed, under thermal blankets and a few furs. He finds Jyn in there, and turns on the light overhead to look at her. 

“You didn’t take off the kohl?” she asks.

“You seemed to enjoy it,” he replies.

She makes a noncommittal sound, but the rest of her convinces him otherwise.

He starts finding excuses to wear it again after that. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @anakinslefthand or @capsbum depending on when you're reading this, probably.


End file.
